Be Gentle

I have been trying to write a new post for weeks now.

I keep sitting down in front of my computer and open a new page. And the blank white space is just too much.

There are a million things I want to write about.

I want to write something positive about the good in the world now because I’m sick of hearing all of the horrible news in the world.

I want to write something about how I was repatriated to Canada with only 48 hours notice.

I want to write something about how to get through 2 periods of isolation.

I want to write something about what home is.

I want to write about how much I miss having a purpose and having “normal”. How this wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

I want to write about my drive halfway across Canada and how much it meant to me.

But the words aren’t coming.

I get overwhelmed, stressed. I close my laptop and tears almost always stream down my face.

I go and open netflix and put on something. Anything to take my mind off of things. I go for a run. Play with my parents dog. Pick up a guitar.

I just want something to make my feelings go away.

There aren’t words to describe what is happening to the world right now.

There aren’t words to describe how most of us are feeling right now.

I’ve been beating myself up. Thinking that with all of this free time, I should be doing something productive. I have time to write, so I should be.

But it’s okay that I’m not.

This isn’t normal. This isn’t routine. This is something none of us have experienced before. No one knows what to do.

We’re all just doing our best to get through every day.

So, if you’re like me. If you need a reminder, this is it.

Be gentle with yourself.

We’re going to be okay.

Stay safe. Stay home.

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