Build a Better Boat

“Now and then I let it go, I ride the waves I can’t control
I’m learnin’ how to build a better boat”

One day this summer I was driving home, I don’t remember exactly where I had been. And this song came on the radio. A new song from Kenny Chesney.

I’m definitely a country music person, but lately I haven’t been a huge fan of his. But, I left the radio on. And then I almost pulled to the side of the road because I had tears streaming down my face almost instantly.

It’s a beautiful song. Written about recovering from a hurricane.

But did it ever apply to my life this summer.

This summer when I started doing yoga every day. This summer when I called my friends and talked for hours, working through the hard times. This summer when I started to find myself again. Figuring out where I needed to be. This summer when I was in more pain than I ever had been before.

“I breathe in, I breathe out
Got friends to call who let me talk about
What ain’t workin’, what’s still hurtin’
All the things I feel like cussin’ out”

This summer that I spent learning how to build myself back up. How to float again. How to accept all those things that I couldn’t do anything about.

I still get teary when I hear this song. Mostly because I’m still rebuilding. Still dealing with the consequences of what has changed in my life over these last few months. I’m still learning how to deal with anxiety and the stress I feel when I’m not in control. When things are changing and there’s nothing I can do.

This summer I felt uncertain. I was scared. I was lost. I didn’t really know what I was doing and some days it felt like the things I was doing for myself, from yoga and meditation to eating better weren’t making a difference. I didn’t know much of anything. But, it was about learning and growing. And then, when the next storm hits, when the waves start crashing… I’ll have a better boat.

“Now and then I let it go
Ride the waves I can’t control
If it’s working I don’t know
When I get done the thing may not float
But I’m learning how to build a better boat”

 

2 thoughts on “Build a Better Boat

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  1. There was a time in my life when all I could do was lay in my bed and pray to God, Don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go… He didn’t. A few years later I was driving and a new Rascal Flats song came on the radio. “I won’t let go” I pulled over and just sat and cried. I felt it was the answer to my prayers. This song also hits me. I’m still dealing with things. And have found that I have to let go the people I love most. So I have to learn how to build a better boat.

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    1. Thank you for sharing that Joyce! That’s such a beautiful song too… Life has a way of throwing too much at us sometimes, and it’s never easy. But you can get through it, no matter what. I hope you find people to support you through the storms, and that you can look back and learn from it. From my experiences, the fear, uncertainty and struggle come to an end, and you can look back and be proud of how far you’ve come. Good luck building your better boat ❤

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