This is an unsent letter I wrote to a friend of mine. Some of this they already know, some they don’t. Maybe one day I’ll actually send it, but for now, here it is.
You are a pretty special person. I’ve know that for a while. I actually wrote that down a month or so ago. “You’re something special and a person I need in my life right now.”
I have learned so much from you. You showed me that I’m not the only one who has been beaten down, and that those faults, failures and disasters in my past don’t have to define me, and don’t make me unlovable. That my flaws aren’t the end of the world, and, that everyone has skeletons in their closet.
You showed me this by accepting my faults and opening up to show me yours.
You showed me how to appreciate my past, my mistakes and decisions. Good or bad. You said that we make the decisions we make because in that moment, with the information we have, that is what we wanted to do.
You were right. Because of you, I learned not to regret. I learned to respect my own decisions, as that was what I wanted in that moment. And it’s okay. Even if it seems like a mistake now.
You gave me a whole new appreciation for music. When I said I would never like rap or metal, you took that as a challenge. Sending me songs. Many that I hated. But, even more that I liked, and even loved. You showed me that everything isn’t always as it seems. I learned to really listen. And then, I had the courage to dive deeper and discover things as obscure as swing metal. You changed how I listen to music, and I started to appreciate it in a whole new way.
You helped me be honest with myself. You were blunt, to the point and didn’t hide anything from me. Right from the start of our conversations, you were honest, and I trusted that. In return, I was always honest with you. And over time, that led to me being more honest with myself, and being my true self. At first it was just with you, but then it started to carry over into the rest of my life.
Finally. Well, this is kind of dumb. But it’s true. You helped me to believe in myself again. You challenged me, but also showed me the good in me. I got to be 100% myself for you. I didn’t have to fake anything (except for how much I was falling for you) and there’s no price that you can put on that.
You were, and still are a great friend. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for showing me that even when I’m broken or breaking that I’m still worth something. Thank you for showing me that someone could care about the real me. That if I open myself up the world, everything will be okay.
I don’t know how long you’re going to be a part of my life. With the miles between us and how our relationship is changing… I don’t want to lose you and this friendship that we have. But regardless of what happens, I’m always going to be grateful for you and how you changed my life for the better. So thanks B. You’re pretty wonderful.